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Men need to speak out against abuse of women
Church in the Community - Media Release in the Herald: 28 August 2023
Source: TCN / Gail Charalambous and Ed Richardson
Date Added: 2023-08-28
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Moral Regeneration,
Date Added: 2023-08-28
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Moral Regeneration,
As we come to the end of women’s month, we are left wondering why men seem to be doing so little about the scourge of violence against women in our society.
According to Indiran Govender from the department of family medicine and primary health care at the Sefako Makgatho Health Sciences University in Pretoria, “South Africa is considered to be the rape capital of the world with 10 818 rape cases reported in the first quarter of 2022”.
The rate at which women are killed by intimate partners in this country is five times higher than the global average, according to the World Bank.
We are not alone. Violence against women and girls has been described by the World Bank as a global pandemic. One in three women will be affected in their lifetime.
This leaves us with the question “what are the ‘good’ men doing about it?”
It is not good enough to just refrain from violence against women.
Nor for the church to remain largely silent.
Any abuse of an individual is a serious violation of one’s God-given personhood and human right to freedom.
“As such, it is critical for the church to break the silence on domestic abuse and advocate for the end of gender-based violence” writes Ally Kern, an American pastor who found herself in an abusive marriage.
“Scripture is often used to keep women silent about their experiences as domestic abuse victims, to urge them to stay with an abusive partner, and even to justify abuse.
“But the Bible is clear that God opposes those who oppress, marginalize and abuse others.
“The Bible views all forms of domestic violence as sin (Mal. 2:16-17; Psalm 11:5; Col. 3:19), including verbal abuse (Prov. 12:18; Prov. 18:21; Col. 3:8), and exhorts us to protect ourselves from violent people (Prov. 27:12; Prov. 11:9).
“Even in troubled relationships where one is provoked, the Bible speaks out against responding with violence (Eph. 4:26; Luke 6:45),” she writes.
“Good” men can, and should, do more than speak out against violence against women.
The following action steps are based on guidance provided by the University of Toronto Community Safety Office:
Start with listening – hear from women how the threat or reality of harassment and violence affects their daily lives. Ask them how men can help prevent violence against women.
Learn to identify violence and harassment in your workplace, church and family so that you can do something about it.
Consider whether messages about manhood like “don’t take no for an answer” play a role in creating unhealthy and unsafe relationships.
Define your own manhood and become a positive role model.
Sexist jokes and language create a climate in which forms of violence and abuse are acceptable.
Words that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second-class position.
When a friend makes a joke about sexual violence, say you don’t find it funny.
Address inappropriate jokes and comments on social media – become the person who speaks out against it.
Do not forward sexist jokes.
Support increased funding for women’s organizations and anti-violence initiatives.
Support curriculum change at every level of the educational system to address sexism and sexual violence.
Find out what values your children are being taught at school. Are they being told, for example, that “boys don’t cry”?
Young boys need to be in touch with their emotions in order to control them.
It is a vital life skill, don’t let them be a victim of toxic masculinity.
Men who hold back their feelings are more likely to be stressed, anxious and depressed.
Emotions cannot stay bottled up for ever and often come out as violent behaviour.
Volunteer in outreach centres and advocacy groups, wherever men are needed to help create change.
If you cannot find one, create it.
“I am a firm believer that the church can—and should be—a safe place for women to get practical, spiritually-integrated, trauma-informed information and resources on domestic abuse,” says Ally Moder.
Organize or join a group of men in your church, workplace, or community. Work together to address sexism and violence against women.
Violation of rights comes in many forms.
Watching pornography is a violation of women’s rights because it objectifies them. It will also affect your personal relationship with women.
Managers and owners of companies should ensure that women are not paid less for doing the same work as men.
How are women treated in your workplace?
Even closer to home, are the sons and daughters in your household or wider family treated differently?
Do only the girls have to do the cleaning and washing up?
Is there more emphasis on rugby than netball?
Do you tell your preschool daughter that the boy bully who is pulling her hair and annoying her is doing it because “he likes her”?
Tell her it is inappropriate and help her to stand up for her rights.
When she is older help her to open her own bank account, and teach her about the importance of retaining her own independence in a relationship – even if it is a loving one.
Be a revolutionary, like Jesus.
In a culture where women were regarded as second-class citizens Jesus treated them with respect.
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
Gail Charalambous and Ed Richardson
are members of Transformation Christian Network.
According to Indiran Govender from the department of family medicine and primary health care at the Sefako Makgatho Health Sciences University in Pretoria, “South Africa is considered to be the rape capital of the world with 10 818 rape cases reported in the first quarter of 2022”.
The rate at which women are killed by intimate partners in this country is five times higher than the global average, according to the World Bank.
We are not alone. Violence against women and girls has been described by the World Bank as a global pandemic. One in three women will be affected in their lifetime.
This leaves us with the question “what are the ‘good’ men doing about it?”
It is not good enough to just refrain from violence against women.
Nor for the church to remain largely silent.
Any abuse of an individual is a serious violation of one’s God-given personhood and human right to freedom.
“As such, it is critical for the church to break the silence on domestic abuse and advocate for the end of gender-based violence” writes Ally Kern, an American pastor who found herself in an abusive marriage.
“Scripture is often used to keep women silent about their experiences as domestic abuse victims, to urge them to stay with an abusive partner, and even to justify abuse.
“But the Bible is clear that God opposes those who oppress, marginalize and abuse others.
“The Bible views all forms of domestic violence as sin (Mal. 2:16-17; Psalm 11:5; Col. 3:19), including verbal abuse (Prov. 12:18; Prov. 18:21; Col. 3:8), and exhorts us to protect ourselves from violent people (Prov. 27:12; Prov. 11:9).
“Even in troubled relationships where one is provoked, the Bible speaks out against responding with violence (Eph. 4:26; Luke 6:45),” she writes.
“Good” men can, and should, do more than speak out against violence against women.
The following action steps are based on guidance provided by the University of Toronto Community Safety Office:
Start with listening – hear from women how the threat or reality of harassment and violence affects their daily lives. Ask them how men can help prevent violence against women.
Learn to identify violence and harassment in your workplace, church and family so that you can do something about it.
Consider whether messages about manhood like “don’t take no for an answer” play a role in creating unhealthy and unsafe relationships.
Define your own manhood and become a positive role model.
Sexist jokes and language create a climate in which forms of violence and abuse are acceptable.
Words that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second-class position.
When a friend makes a joke about sexual violence, say you don’t find it funny.
Address inappropriate jokes and comments on social media – become the person who speaks out against it.
Do not forward sexist jokes.
Support increased funding for women’s organizations and anti-violence initiatives.
Support curriculum change at every level of the educational system to address sexism and sexual violence.
Find out what values your children are being taught at school. Are they being told, for example, that “boys don’t cry”?
Young boys need to be in touch with their emotions in order to control them.
It is a vital life skill, don’t let them be a victim of toxic masculinity.
Men who hold back their feelings are more likely to be stressed, anxious and depressed.
Emotions cannot stay bottled up for ever and often come out as violent behaviour.
Volunteer in outreach centres and advocacy groups, wherever men are needed to help create change.
If you cannot find one, create it.
“I am a firm believer that the church can—and should be—a safe place for women to get practical, spiritually-integrated, trauma-informed information and resources on domestic abuse,” says Ally Moder.
Organize or join a group of men in your church, workplace, or community. Work together to address sexism and violence against women.
Violation of rights comes in many forms.
Watching pornography is a violation of women’s rights because it objectifies them. It will also affect your personal relationship with women.
Managers and owners of companies should ensure that women are not paid less for doing the same work as men.
How are women treated in your workplace?
Even closer to home, are the sons and daughters in your household or wider family treated differently?
Do only the girls have to do the cleaning and washing up?
Is there more emphasis on rugby than netball?
Do you tell your preschool daughter that the boy bully who is pulling her hair and annoying her is doing it because “he likes her”?
Tell her it is inappropriate and help her to stand up for her rights.
When she is older help her to open her own bank account, and teach her about the importance of retaining her own independence in a relationship – even if it is a loving one.
Be a revolutionary, like Jesus.
In a culture where women were regarded as second-class citizens Jesus treated them with respect.
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).
Gail Charalambous and Ed Richardson
are members of Transformation Christian Network.
Source: TCN / Gail Charalambous and Ed Richardson
Date Added: 2023-08-28
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Moral Regeneration,
Back to News IndexDate Added: 2023-08-28
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Moral Regeneration,
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