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Parents reach out to your children today - lest they feel abandoned
Church in the Community - Media Release in the Herald: 24 July 2023
Source: TCN / George Georgiou
Date Added: 2023-07-24
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Parenting,
Date Added: 2023-07-24
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Parenting,
The generation raised by iPads has hit senior school and university and we can measure the outcomes.
It’s not all bad. This tech-savvy, well-informed generation could possibly be the most promising generation yet, but the adults aren’t handling it well.
Contextually, I have led a church in NMMU for 20 years. I’ve seen the fun times, the faithless times, and the fighting for freedom times.
None of those were as intimidating to confront as the current “abandonment” era.
In a one-liner summary: it is not the iPad that has had a negative effect. It is parental abdication to the iPad that has.
Our children were abandoned, and it’s showing.
Happily, there’s time to fix it and the church could be the best medicine, but it’s fatal if we don’t try.
I took a couple of students to lunch recently. One was far from home and had done well, so, as a post-exam celebration I thought I’d act as on-site uncle.
That student mentioned how proud he was of his mother.
I asked about what his father did. “A medical professional”, he said, followed by a statement I couldn’t get out of my mind for weeks.
“I’m the product of an affair, ‘and when I graduated with my first qualification, I found him and called to let him know.
“The reply? ‘I’d rather you didn’t contact me again’”.
I was shattered.
For decades we talked about the fatherless generation producing an orphan mindset or spirit.
That played out through a generation that could not be satisfied. Nothing was ever enough to meet whatever we fit was missing.
In a desperate bid to fill the gap, we burnt down the planet to get ahead.
We did church full-on, studied for post-grad at a minimum, and travelled to see it all.
We had bucket lists, and we were getting things done.
We created a better world but at the cost of broken family bonds.
Now I see evidence of abandonment producing a lonely generation. This plays out as the generation who doesn’t feel like doing anything.
It’s not always dramatic. It’s the subtlety that’s scary.
It’s the parent who takes turns staying home with their teenagers on Sunday, while the other goes to church … because “the kids” like being at home.
It shows up when Uber or Bolt knows more about the rhythms of our teenagers than the adults do. It’s obvious when therapy does the parenting because you’ve bought into the lie that you’re irrelevant and can’t connect.
All of these things are expressions and symptoms of abandonment.
We have to get our heads in the game, and not allow technology, therapy, or insecurity to leave a destructive legacy.
Therapy, home comforts, and freedoms from a new app-based lifestyle all have a valuable part to play in shaping their lives, but should never become a way to hide from the hard task of doing what our kids actually need from us, not what we need from them.
Brave words, you might say, from a guy who doesn’t have kids.
I don’t. But I have context. I’ve watched parents push through the resistance to help shape the lives of their teenagers and are rewarded with both relationship and resilience.
I’ve seen teenagers bloom into sold citizens when given the right input and guidance and I’ve seen the long-term struggle of the victims of abandonment.
Even our resurgence in the identity crisis has at its root this very spirit of abandonment.
So, what do we do”.
Perhaps it’s the simplicity that’s got us uncertain. Just turning to the tried and true principles of faith and family will go a long way.
Don’t walk away. Walk alongside. Don’t hold back your opinion for fear of losing connection. Households need a head like companies need a chief.
Someone needs to set the rhythms. We need “in our house” standards, and these should include manners and courtesy around guests of all ages.
Unselfish participation in ordinary life so that the skill of being part of something is grown.
Teenagers need to be hugged, even when they squirm.
Students need to be complimented, even when they say it doesn’t matter.
They don’t know it yet, but their very lives depend on it.
How else do we explain the contradiction that the generation that could do anything, but do not want to? Many don’t even want to wake up tomorrow.
Jesus found the man who betrayed him - Peter - and invited him to breakfast.
A fish breakfast for a fisherman. Christ told Peter he loved him and asked him if he could find his way back to loving again.
Loving himself and his faith.
That man, infamous for three [denials] before a rooster’s crow, became famous for preaching the first sermon recorded in the Bible.
You may need to call your kids even if they didn't call back, and take them to breakfast.
Push through the awkwardness to see the awesome.
You need to set the spiritual pace before it's set by sadness and medicated indefinitely.
It is not acceptable to leave young people to their own devices.
Artificial intelligence does not compensate for real engagement.
It had better not be the only intelligence we’re talking about.
Make the first move.
They don’t know how to yet.
George Georgiou
is founder and lead pastor of Father House Church in GQ, and senior pastor of the Father’s House movement of churches in South Africa.
It’s not all bad. This tech-savvy, well-informed generation could possibly be the most promising generation yet, but the adults aren’t handling it well.
Contextually, I have led a church in NMMU for 20 years. I’ve seen the fun times, the faithless times, and the fighting for freedom times.
None of those were as intimidating to confront as the current “abandonment” era.
In a one-liner summary: it is not the iPad that has had a negative effect. It is parental abdication to the iPad that has.
Our children were abandoned, and it’s showing.
Happily, there’s time to fix it and the church could be the best medicine, but it’s fatal if we don’t try.
I took a couple of students to lunch recently. One was far from home and had done well, so, as a post-exam celebration I thought I’d act as on-site uncle.
That student mentioned how proud he was of his mother.
I asked about what his father did. “A medical professional”, he said, followed by a statement I couldn’t get out of my mind for weeks.
“I’m the product of an affair, ‘and when I graduated with my first qualification, I found him and called to let him know.
“The reply? ‘I’d rather you didn’t contact me again’”.
I was shattered.
For decades we talked about the fatherless generation producing an orphan mindset or spirit.
That played out through a generation that could not be satisfied. Nothing was ever enough to meet whatever we fit was missing.
In a desperate bid to fill the gap, we burnt down the planet to get ahead.
We did church full-on, studied for post-grad at a minimum, and travelled to see it all.
We had bucket lists, and we were getting things done.
We created a better world but at the cost of broken family bonds.
Now I see evidence of abandonment producing a lonely generation. This plays out as the generation who doesn’t feel like doing anything.
It’s not always dramatic. It’s the subtlety that’s scary.
It’s the parent who takes turns staying home with their teenagers on Sunday, while the other goes to church … because “the kids” like being at home.
It shows up when Uber or Bolt knows more about the rhythms of our teenagers than the adults do. It’s obvious when therapy does the parenting because you’ve bought into the lie that you’re irrelevant and can’t connect.
All of these things are expressions and symptoms of abandonment.
We have to get our heads in the game, and not allow technology, therapy, or insecurity to leave a destructive legacy.
Therapy, home comforts, and freedoms from a new app-based lifestyle all have a valuable part to play in shaping their lives, but should never become a way to hide from the hard task of doing what our kids actually need from us, not what we need from them.
Brave words, you might say, from a guy who doesn’t have kids.
I don’t. But I have context. I’ve watched parents push through the resistance to help shape the lives of their teenagers and are rewarded with both relationship and resilience.
I’ve seen teenagers bloom into sold citizens when given the right input and guidance and I’ve seen the long-term struggle of the victims of abandonment.
Even our resurgence in the identity crisis has at its root this very spirit of abandonment.
So, what do we do”.
Perhaps it’s the simplicity that’s got us uncertain. Just turning to the tried and true principles of faith and family will go a long way.
Don’t walk away. Walk alongside. Don’t hold back your opinion for fear of losing connection. Households need a head like companies need a chief.
Someone needs to set the rhythms. We need “in our house” standards, and these should include manners and courtesy around guests of all ages.
Unselfish participation in ordinary life so that the skill of being part of something is grown.
Teenagers need to be hugged, even when they squirm.
Students need to be complimented, even when they say it doesn’t matter.
They don’t know it yet, but their very lives depend on it.
How else do we explain the contradiction that the generation that could do anything, but do not want to? Many don’t even want to wake up tomorrow.
Jesus found the man who betrayed him - Peter - and invited him to breakfast.
A fish breakfast for a fisherman. Christ told Peter he loved him and asked him if he could find his way back to loving again.
Loving himself and his faith.
That man, infamous for three [denials] before a rooster’s crow, became famous for preaching the first sermon recorded in the Bible.
You may need to call your kids even if they didn't call back, and take them to breakfast.
Push through the awkwardness to see the awesome.
You need to set the spiritual pace before it's set by sadness and medicated indefinitely.
It is not acceptable to leave young people to their own devices.
Artificial intelligence does not compensate for real engagement.
It had better not be the only intelligence we’re talking about.
Make the first move.
They don’t know how to yet.
George Georgiou
is founder and lead pastor of Father House Church in GQ, and senior pastor of the Father’s House movement of churches in South Africa.
Source: TCN / George Georgiou
Date Added: 2023-07-24
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Parenting,
Back to News IndexDate Added: 2023-07-24
Category: General News, TCN News, Issues - General, Issues - Parenting,
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